Failure At Life
by CutewithAcapital-Q
Summary: Ron has failed his Auror training : and is very disheartened, and it is up to Hermione to fix him. DH Spoilers


Hi! I'm back witha new story! I don't know if it was being emotionly attached to this piece or what, but for a while working on it hurt and really was making me think about my career choice and whether or not I was screwing myself over being an actress, it actually pretty lame because the story is what it is, but here it is!.

Failure at life

Ron lay limply against the stairs glaring in anguish at the ceiling.

"We're home!" Hermione's voice rang out over the clanging chains and cogs. She walked in, hand in hand with a small boy, of about four, with light brown hair that held a slight wave in it.

Ron lifted his head, in spite of himself, as a response. Hermione hadn't seemed to have noticed him there, as she helped the boy out of his coat.

"What's wrong with Uncle Ron?" he pointed out naively.

"Hmm," Hermione looked casually in the pointed direction, "Oh, Ron! What happened to you?" she was at the foot of the stairs in worry. Immediately Ron responded in his pervious fashion to show he was alive.

"Oh," Hermione sighed in relief, "Teddy, darling, he's fine," she smiled back at the boy and waved an arm airily for him to continue to take off his coat. She knelt down on the stairs next to Ron and whispered in his ear, "It's Harry's day with him, he's working late so I picked him up," then kissed him on the cheek. At the loving gesture, Ron's lips nearly twitched into a smile but quickly his jaw was set again it to a grimace.

"Uncle Ron! Uncle Ron!" Teddy Remus Lupin ran in delight to his favorite "Uncle", "You'll never guess what I found in the mud yesterday--!"

"Teddy, how about we eat lunch first?" Hermione stopped him patiently.

"Alright, Aunt Hermione!" he quickly agreed, and zipped off.

"So I take it something went wrong?" she climbed the stairs a little ways to sit next to him comfortably.

"Why is the world against me?" Ron finally spoke in a sallow tone.

"Oh it is not." Hermione said sweet and reasonably, and carefully stroked his red hair out of his eyes.

"Yes, Hermione it really is." Ron reassured her of the statement, "I still suck at apparating, half the time I splinch myself, I've failed nearly every test I've ever taken, and now I'll never be an auror because I'm a failure at life and can't turn bloody green!" he finished almost hysterical and even more depressed.

"Ron you are not a failure!" Hermione was really trying to convince him of this alone.

"Green! Who in there right mind will ever need to turn green?!" Ron was obviously off in his own world talking nonsense.

"And you will be an auror!"

"Please, 'Moine, I couldn't even get a muggle driving license!" Ron leaned up on his elbows to elevate himself a bit.

"Really, Ron, even Tonks had to retake a course, her first time around."

"Oh, and why isn't she here giving this pep talk?" Ron snapped, losing all sense of control. Barely after completing the bold statement, Ron was knocked off his elbows by the sting of Hermione's palm on his cheek.

"Ron!" she hissed angrily, as if to hint something to him.

Teddy had just entered the room again, and his wavy sand hair, was now tinted a slight magenta.

"Oh…" Ron trailed off becoming totally numb.

"Uncle Ron, you shouldn't worry!" Teddy smiled, completely unphased, as most children are, "Spongebob Squarepants failed his driving test 38 times!"

"Thanks Teddy," he mumbled, not actually knowing who this Spongebob was, "What are you up to?" he asked softly, reverting his gaze back to the ceiling, unable to look anyone in the eye.

"I was waiting it the kitchen like you told me," he said innocently, "And then I did this!" he then grinned, proudly pointing at his head.

"Wow Teddy that's great!" Hermione put on a happy face. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting lets get you a sandwich!" Teddy nodded enthusiastically to this, as Hermione got off the stairs, "But you have to promise to eat it in the kitchen." She warned him as they clasped hands. Teddy dragged her eagerly away to the kitchen and before she was completely out of Ron's sight she shot him a foreboding look.

A few minutes later she returned, performing silencing charms with her wand, a reliable omen for a fight. Ron couldn't care less, from where he could see, Hermione murdering him would be a blessing. He draped his arms across his eyes, anticipating the blinding green light.

"What's the matter with you?!" Hermione yelled, unafraid of disturbing the child in the other room. Ron lay still on the steps, his arms tighten and the tension in his muscles portrayed the edge her words held.

"Hermione please don't do this to me. I already know I'm a git, I don't need a lecture to prove it," his voice was dead, and stale with regret, "I'm sorry, and you know I didn't mean it."

As easy as it would have been for Hermione to continue in her state of anger, it was swept away with the astonishment to Ron's apology. So, grudgingly, she climbed the stairs again and took her seat next to him again. She wretched his arm off his face to hold his hand. He watched her swipe her hand across her face, and dried the tears.

"See, I'm a horrible person," he said morosely, "I've made you cry."

"Ron," Hermione laughed and cried in one emotion, "You've been making me cry since we met."

"So," Ron reasoned sadly, "I've been a horrible person my whole life, not that huge of a concept."

"Ron…." Hermione continued to laugh.

"Who's this SpongeBob bloke? Have I met him?" Ron queried suddenly.

"Huh? No Ron, he's a muggle cartoon, I certainly hope, for your mental stability that you haven't met him." Hermione rolled her eyes. They stayed in the state of contemplation as she clasped both her hands over his one.

"So you couldn't turn green?" Hermione asked as if the actual ridiculousness of the phrase had just hit her.

"Hmm-huh…" Ron replied.

"Well, I suppose that would make perfect sense," she chuckled wickedly, "You're too good at turning red!"

"Oh bugger off," he mumbled half hearted.

"I mean they are contrary colors," She continued with a laugh, which quickly melted away seeing Ron in a melancholy staring contest with the banister. Sympathetically she maneuvered her arms and hoisted up Ron's dead weight to a sitting position, and hugged him tightly about the middle. They sat in the condoling silence, for what seemed to be the edge of eternity or at least until the front door cranked and clanged open.

"Hey gu…" Harry started on the depressing scene, "Guys?"

"Harry!!" Teddy hurried up from the kitchen, having Harry lift the effects of the silencing charms from earlier.

"Tedd!" Harry returned his excitement, kneeling down and scooped the giggling child off his feet and over his shoulder.

"Uncle Ron's sad 'cause he can't turn green," teddy explained the glum faced couple on the stairs.

"He can't turn…" Harry looked quizzically at the boy in his arms, but with realization repeated, "He can't turn green, eh! Well then perhaps you can give him a few pointers!" Harry then pinched a strip of spinach hair that now framed his face, before replacing him back on the ground.

"Harry!" Teddy immediately began tugging on his godfather's arm, "You're not going to believe what I found in the mud, it was a—"

"Ted-Ted-Teddy!" Harry quickly interrupted, placing a hand on each shoulder, "I'm yours for the rest of the day! Let's not waste all the fun," he suggested, "Now, I need to talk to Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione, can you wait in the kitchen please?"

"Alright…" Teddy sighed disgruntled his ever so riveting tale, had been interrupted once again, and scurried back toward the kitchen.

"So," Harry smiled, leaning up against the wall, "I take it we won't be seeing an auror's certificate on the wall this semester." Harry began diplomatically.

"Harry!" Hermione hissed through gritted teeth.

"You couldn't turn green!?" he continued to guffaw.

"It wasn't my fault!" Ron spat in clear anger. "I did everything right! And I mean everything! Until of course, we get to the disguise demonstration! More specifically color change. Well since I'm not as talented as a four year old, I take out the only potion that lets a person change color-"

"The one I helped you with?" Hermione gasped.

"Yes-"

"Didn't it work?" she continued to cut in, horrified that a potion she had attributed to hadn't worked.

"Oh, it worked," Ron nodded, in assurance, "A little too well," he muttered darkly, "So, anyhow, first, the bloke wants me to change from normal to deep red—"

"Well, you didn't need a potion for that!" Harry mutters.

"That's what I said!" Hermione points out happily.

"Anyways," Ron growled again, his tell tale ears filling with their signature pink, "I added the correct color thread and the potion changes color and then so did I. Very impressive says the guy, interesting, then he asks for purple. Cleared the red out and purple thread, purple potion, purple Ron. The trouble seemed to start just after he asked for green, lime green to be quoting the man. So anyhow I'm feeling pretty confident and when I cleared the potion and added the thread, whatever happened or didn't happen didn't really matter, because when it came down to it I was standing in the middle of a bright green room, completely…maroon!"

"Wow, mate that's horrible," Harry genuinely sympathized.

"HARRY!!" Teddy trilled from the kitchen, "Are you done talking with Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron?"

"I'm there in a second!" Harry called back.

"Why are you just Harry, but were Aunt and Uncle?" Ron inquired thoughtfully.

"'Cause he thinks you're married," Harry answered simply then added, "Courtesy of your mum."

"Oh," Hermione's eye brows shot up in surprise and looked over Ron's shoulder to look at him properly, who was dumbfounded, probably at the new lows his mother had gone to start planning another wedding.

"Tedd's is going to explode, if I don't get in there soon!" Harry finally ran off to the kitchen.

"Ron why is your mother telling small children we're married?"

"I just thought of something…." He said standing up out of Hermione's arms, "WHO'S GOING TO TELL MY MUM!"

"That's what I thought," Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled back down onto the steps. They were so unsteady in the position they sat, that they tumbled down from the steps and fell to the ground floor.

"Look what I found in the kitchen!" Harry lumbered into the hall, with Teddy slung over his shoulder.

"What?" Ron laughed for the first time. Unfortunately, when Harry set Teddy to his feet, all humor left his face.

"Look at me!!" Tedd's hair was no longer green or magenta, but instead a very dark red better known as—

"Maroon," Hermione cringed at the color of the boy's hair, and watched for Ron's reaction.

"Oh Merlin WHY?!" Ron collapsed his head to the ground.

"Harry!" Hermione stood so her face was inches from the very stupid Boy-Who-Lived and snarled, "I just got his mind off of it!"

"Come on Teddy, lets go to the park," Harry quickly whimpered uselessly, for there are only so many things in this world Harry Potter truly fears, and Hermione's anger is certainly a force to be reckoned with.

Hermione watched the boys go and then turned her attentions back to the defeated man lying face down on the hard wood.

"Ron come on," Hermione simply looked down at him, "Get up Ron," she nudged his shoulder with her toe.

"No," his answer was muffled, but sure. He shifted his head so he could speak in clear sentences, "I a loser and I don't deserve to stand up, I'm at my only useful post as a doormat. Go ahead you can trample me if you like."

"Ron, you're talking nonsense, I am not going to trample you," Hermione sat down beside him, "You're going to get up, you're going to take the next course, study hard and by next time you are going to be the best Auror ever to walk through the ministry."

"You sound as credible as Trelawney." Ron scoffed half heartedly.

"Alright, fine I'll prove it!"

"Don't waste your time Hermione. You might as just start looking through the Prophet's personals, find someone who isn't destined for failure…" Ron continued hopelessly.

Hermione was about to shoot something clever back, but instead held it back and smirked, saying quite casually "Yeah, I 'spose you're right…" and turned her back on him.

"Yea-WHAT!?" Ron's head shot up from his position on the floor.

"It's true you know, but who needs the personals, Ron honestly," went toward the kitchen, in the same casual tone.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"I was thinking perhaps floo some of the fellows from work, or you know who it'd be nice to catch up with-Viktor Krum"

At the mention of the Bulgarian's name Ron knew the game she was playing, but he was determined not to encourage her, until—

"You know he was better," she continued to edge him on. The strange part was she was still proving the point he'd made a moment ago, but in spite of it he had to prove _her_ wrong.

"Wait at what?" Ron, now some what desperately clung to her words, "Snogging, Quidditch What?!"

"Yeah it was one of those."

"Well which?"

"That's…" she leaned down closely to whisper, "For me to know and you not to find out!"

That was the last straw, Ron sprang up and started after her in to the kitchen.

"Alright where are you?!"

"Nowhere you can find me!" teased Hermione's voice from behind the worktop.

"Really," Ron edged around the worktop stealthily.

"Yes really!" she mocked.

"Got-cha!" he jumped around the corner at that moment, but the space was empty.

"No not really," Hermione came out from the pantry, across the room.

"How'd you do that!?"

"I can throw my voice," she grinned pointing proudly to her throat.

"I didn't know that"

"Viktor did," she teased playfully.

"Oh, your in trouble," he made his way across the kitchen back toward her, but even in his long strides, she was able to escape to the living room.

Hermione cunningly swerved and changed direction about the room, but Ron easily out run her. Just as Hermione hopped over the couch, and about to continue running, he ran around the piece of furniture and caught her around the waist. Ron spun his prize about the air a couple of times.

Once four feet were again planted back on the ground Ron loosened his hold on Hermione's waist just enough for her turn in his arms to face him.

"Told you I could get you off the ground," she smiled.

"Yes 'Hermione Granger-Miracle Worker!'" Ron announced.

"Hm, I like that," she decided, closing in on the merest inches that remained between them.

"Me too…" he finished off the nonexistent space with a kiss, thinking perhaps he could do somethings right after all.

Harry and Teddy came back, with two perfect ice cream cones.

"Hey, we're back!" he called out into the empty hall way.

"And we got you ice cream!" Teddy yelled after his god father, but there was no answer.

"Where are they?"

"Dunno," Harry wondered about the hall looking for them as Ted went upstairs.

Harry noticed the living room door curiously closed, even more strange it was locked.

"Alohamora," he muttered to the door lock. At first glance the room looked relatively vacant; suddenly he saw the slightest of movements above the couch. A single long freckled hand was waving the "go away" signal from above the couch top.

Whether or not his dirty hunches were correct, Harry got the jest, and began closing the door again.

"Are they here?" Teddy suddenly popped up behind him attempting to see in through the door.

"Ah! NO!" Harry was now even more eager to hide the door, "They left, yeah that's it. They left a note in the kitchen and their going to be gone the rest of the day! You know I just remembered, I have something to settle with Uncle George, let's go down to the shop."

"But, what about their ice cream?" Teddy asked holding up the cones of rocky-road and mint chip.

"We can put a charm on that." Harry continued to hurry the child away from the living room and into the kitchen where he quickly fixed the ice cream, and then rushed the both of them out the front door.

So there you go, this is dedicated to my sister, D.I.P. as she asked to be refered to as on fanfics, or as I have called her on this site Know-it-all withaCapital-N. Whoever she is I want to say it here and now! SHE IS NOT A FAILURE AT LIFE!

Love you sis!

Everyone else receives a hug for a review! Now who can say no to that!?


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